Subject: People (Page 121)

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attraction of others.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

It's hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.

American basketball coach & executive

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.

Mary Anne Evans (1819 – 1880) English novelist, journalist & translator

It took us hundreds of years to get one Year of the Woman, then we get a year – one of us cuts her husband's penis off.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

I think what sets us apart from other animals is that we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian

When you're born, you have a finger up your nose, the other hand on your dick, and you get taller; and that is really it.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

An Englishmen thinks seated; a Frenchmen standing; an American pacing, an Irishman, afterwards.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.

(1803 – 1885) French writer & journalist

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.

(1824 – 1895) French writer

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

I’m at the age where food has taken over the role of sex in my life. In fact last night, I put a mirror over my kitchen table.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Officials make work for each other.

The public is always wrong.

I look like a mix between a Jew and a guy who would drive by in a truck and yell "Jew.”

American comedian
The Hunger Site