Subject: People (Page 121)

People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer

There were three things that Chico was always on – a phone, a horse, or a broad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

movie character in The Mask (Amy Yasbeck)

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

(1937 – ) American actor

The biggest difference between the psychiatrist and the patient is that the psychiatrist has learned how to live with it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Louis B. Mayer’s arm around your shoulder meant his hand was closer to your throat.

(1911 – 2008) American film director

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.

(1819 – 1875) English priest, university professor, historian & novelist

My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

I couldn’t tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on its head.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

Whatever creates the greatest inconvenience for the largest number must happen.

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

At any particular time, there are more horse's asses in the world than horses.

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