Subject: People (Page 123)

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Self Speech

You might be a redneck if… you have used a bar stool as a walker.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Health People

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Conflict Killing Men People

… it was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics People

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

Lady Gaga is proof that David Bowie raped Carol Burnett!

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
People

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Appearance Clothing People

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they' ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Men

Sophia Loren plays peasants; I play ladies.

(1927 – ) Italian actress & photojournalist
Acting People Self

We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers; they could call it On Anon Anon.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Communication People Speech

The hardest thing to stop is a temporary chairman.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People Situations

We have the power to bore people long after we are dead.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Communication People Reading/Writing Self

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Self Sports

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Situations Women

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Sex

Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
People

Now there's a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals Insults Intelligence

Even at school they thought I had special powers; what was the phrase… ‘Constant super-vision.’

(1964 – ) English comedian
People Self

You know what the average person is?… average.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
People

The trouble with Bogart is he thinks he's Bogart.

(1906 – 1987) American movie director, producer & actor
People