Subject: People (Page 6)

Self-abuse is the sincerest kind.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Activities Self Sex

I think what sets us apart from other animals is that we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Animals People

She plucked from my lapel the invisible strand of lint (the universal act of women to proclaim ownership).

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
People Relationships Women

Women love scallywags, but some marry them and then try to make them wear a blazer.

(1938 – ) English fashion & portrait photographer
Men People

[I’m someone] who spends his time at parties in the room with the coats and whose idea of a good time is to go down to the bus terminal and pretend I’m going somewhere.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics People Self

Those who don’t study the past will repeat its errors; those who do study it will find OTHER ways to err.

Murphy’s Laws Past People Problems

If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Books Communication People Reading/Writing

One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost and people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Miscellaneous People Self

I always thought I'd go to the Oscars, but only as a stalker.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Entertainment Film People Self

The English find ill-health not only interesting but respectable and often experience death in the effort to avoid a fuss.

(1908 – 1967) English novelist
England Health People Places

I’ve been married to one Marxist and one fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

(1927 – ) American actress
Husbands Marriage People

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Men Old People Sex Women

You might be a redneck if… you use a NASCAR credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws People Time

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It’s been along for years… it’s called cash.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities People Shopping Women

Nothing is going to stop Mike Tyson that doesn't have a motor attached.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
People

Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! – alcoholic and a racist!

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Insults People

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age People Relationships Women

I know I’m God because when I pray to him I find I’m talking to myself.

(1931 – 2004) English playwright & screenwriter
Beliefs God People Self

People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
People Situations

Americans always try to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
America People Places