Subject: People (Page 7)

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

(1864 – 1930) Scottish whisky distiller
Appearance Clothing Men People Wives

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

(1921 – 1995) American actress
Men People

My parents were very protective; I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited and… placing bets.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family People Self

It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements People

Every crowd has a silver lining.

(1810 – 1891) American politician, showman & businessman
Money People

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

(1953 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Marriage People

An Englishman considers himself a self-made man, and thereby relieves the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.

England People Places

The eyes of Stalin, the voice of Marilyn Monroe.

(1916 – 1996) French president
People

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Health Old Women

You might be a redneck if… you've been on television more than five times describing what the tornado sounded like.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I love New York – it's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
New York City People Places

Some women pick men to marry; and others pick them to pieces.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men People Women

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Arms Conflict Government People Places

Two blind fellows walk into a wall…

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
People Situations

I saw what’s going on under my chin; I don’t want to be the one the president has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance People Self

The Arabs are only Jews upon horseback.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself… and you are the easiest person to fool.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
People Science/Weather Self

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Men People Relationships

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.

(1809 – 1882) English naturalist
People

A committee takes hours to put into minutes what can be done in seconds.

People Time