Subject: People » Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are," Gentlemen, start your engines."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your pickup has a two-tone paint job – primer red and primer gray.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your on your first date you had to ask your dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your grandfather died and left everything to his widow; but she can’t touch it until she's fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your daughter's Barbie Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as, “the day my ship came in.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality













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