Subject: People » Women (Page 2)

Women like silent men; they think they’re listening.

(1899 – 1974) French screenwriter, teacher & journalist
Men People Women

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories
Characteristics People Women

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Relationships Women

Women can have multiple orgasms? Right… I’ll believe it when I see it.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
People Sex Women

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.

Fools Intelligence Men People Women

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Driving Men People Women

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’… On what?… On fire?

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Clothing Shopping Situations Women

When I meet a beautiful girl, the first thing I say is 'will you marry me? … the second thing I say is, 'how do you do?”

(1894 – 1967) English heir, New York socialite (married 13 times)
Marriage People Women

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Women

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal – high enough so you can look up her dress.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
People Women

During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Men Past Women

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

Women want to be treated as equals, not sequels.

(1958 – ) Australian author
People Women

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian
Body People Self Women

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Appearance Old People Women

[With women] it’s like God made a little package; it’s all tucked in with hospital corners and stuff; and with men, it’s like God started to make a bow, and the phone rang.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian & actress
Men People Women

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face; my advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Age Appearance Women

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Men Things Time Women

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women