Subject: People » Women (Page 3)

Women are absolutely equal; they just can't quite lift as much.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality

Treat a horse like a woman and a woman like a horse; and they’ll both win for you.

(1884 – 1966) Canadian-American businesswoman

Definition of a Jewish nymphomaniac: A woman who will make love the same day she has her hair done.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian

If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial; if she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist

A man always blames the woman who fooled him, in the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol… it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player

Spinster: A lady in waiting.

Any girl can be glamorous… all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

(1913 – 2000) Austrian-American actress, mathematician & inventor

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.

(1938 – 1981) American actress

Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady.

(1898 – 1981) American costume designer

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

When man and woman die, as poets sung, his heart's the last part moves, her last, the tongue.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.

In the duel of sex, woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician

I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

American actor & comedian