Subject: Places » America

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

… as American as English muffins and French toast.

(1935 – ) English critic & author

If you persecute somebody just because they might look a little different, then you are no better than our country's founding fathers.

American comedian & writer

We are for the underdog, no matter how much of a dog he is.

(1898 – 1991) U.S. senator (Kentucky) & Major League Baseball commissioner

In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

(1964 – ) Canadian writer & novelist

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland.

(1937 – 2012) New Zealand author

In America, we won't let somebody who's terminally ill have the right to take their own life… but yet, we'll let Evel Knievel jump over the Grand Canyon with a damn moped.

American stand-up comedian

The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

Help veterans in need with one click. The Veterans Site