Subject: Places » America (Page 8)

A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care. 

Canadian comedian & author
America Canada People Places

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Places

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Insults Places

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
America Places Taxes

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
America England Food/Drink Places

We might as well give them ours, we aren’t using it.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Places

I want to succeed in America where, unlike Britain, they do not regard ambition as being the same as eating babies.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
America Places Success

What middle class? … there's only seven people left in the middle class – who cares about them?

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
America People Places

We haven't seen that kind of violence in the name of religion in this country since we got here!'

American stand-up comedian
America History Religion Time

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places Wordplay

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People

In America, your work determines your marks; in Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Government Places

In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities America Places Travel

… as American as English muffins and French toast.

(1935 – ) English critic & author
America Places

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places