Subject: Places » Canada

Britons put up with, Americans fix, while Canadians cope.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist
Canada People Places

When they said Canada, I thought it was up in the mountains somewhere.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Canada Misspokements Places

We'll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us.

(1945 – ) Canadian radio personality
Canada Places

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fisherman.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Canada Places

Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women.

(1944 – ) American stand-up comedian actor & author
Canada Places

I should mention I’m not actually from Canada; my father was just stationed here during the Vietnam War.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Places

Canadians have been so busy explaining to the Americans that we aren't British, and to the British that we aren't Americans that we haven't had time to become Canadians.

Canadian writer & speaker
America Canada People Places

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Communication Education Learning Places Reading/Writing

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad.

(1946 – 1990) English/Canadian writer & broadcaster
Canada Places

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.

(1895-1957) Canadian historian
America Canada People Places

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination.

(1912 – 2006) Romanian-born Canadian writer
Canada Insults

It’s going to be a great country when they finish unpacking it.

(1943 – ) Canadian author & newsman
Canada Places

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me; I said, “Well, what do you need?”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Canada Places Things

I’ve been to Canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Canada Places

I often confuse Americans and Canadians… by using long words.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
America Canada People Places

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

America's attic.

(1915 – 1979) English-born Canadian poet
Canada Places

The Canadian military is like Switzerland's… without the knife.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Government

A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care. 

Canadian comedian & author
America Canada People Places

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you’re Canadian and people laugh.

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Canada Emotions Laughter Places