Subject: Places (Page 2)

I was walking down the street, something caught my eye – and dragged it fifteen feet.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Places Situations

Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
America Places

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
Places World

I came from a real tough neighborhood; on my street, the kids take hubcaps – from moving cars.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Places Things

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Places

Do people in Australia, call the rest of the world, "Up Over"?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Places Speech

I’ve been here (Los Angeles) eight months; I have been in two earthquakes, a race riot, floods and fires, and I left New York because I couldn't handle my mother.

comedian & television writer
Places

I like the French/British relationship to a very old married couple who often think of killing each other but would never dream of divorce.

(1948 – ) British politician
England Places

Canada? I don't even know what street it's on.

(1899 – 1947) American gangster
Canada Places

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in The Wizard of Oz came from.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Places

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.

(1908 – 1965) American broadcast journalist & newscaster
Communication Intelligence Speech Wisdom World

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
America Emotions Fear Government School

I’m in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants; I’d let just about everybody in except the English.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
World

Hollywood is bounded on the north, south, east and west by agents.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Hollywood Places

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me; I said, “Well, what do you need?”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Canada Places Things

America is a land where men govern, but women rule.

(1900 – 1969) American drama critic & author
America Men People Places Women

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations Sleep World