Subject: Places (Page 4)

Never criticize Americans… they have the best taste that money can buy.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
America Characteristics Money Opinion People Places

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Places Situations

The hardest part of running competitively in Wales must be keeping up with the Joneses.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Places

Home: A place where a man is free to say anything he pleases because no one pays any attention to him.

Definitions Places

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.

American folksinger & activist
America Places

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

To the French, lying is simply talking.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Lies People Places

I know I've got a lock on the Dutch Hall of Fame.

Dutch-born American baseball pitcher
Baseball Places Sports

Scotland: That garret of the earth – that knuckle-end of England – that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Insults Places

Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
England Food/Drink Places

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Places World

There are three golden rules for parliamentary speakers: “Stand up. Speak up. Shut up.”

(1855 – 1949) British politician
Communication England Places Speech

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Conflict Places

The greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Communication Places

You haven’t lived until you’ve died in California.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Life Places

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a handgun than a packet of cigarettes.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
America Arms Situations Things

If Moses would have walked two more miles, we'd have all the oil.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Entertainment Government Military Music Places

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

America Money Murphy’s Laws Places

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine's putting in an express lane.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places