Subject: Places (Page 4)

Canada’s national bird is the grouse.

(1913 – 1987) Canadian journalist

White Sqan,  Washington

I'd like to see Paris before I die… Philadelphia will do.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The world is divided into people who do things – and people who get the credit.

(1873 – 1931) businessman, politician & diplomat

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

In Milan, traffic lights are instructions; in Rome, they are suggestions; in Naples, they are Christmas decorations.

(1942 – ) Italian politician

There is no room for amateurs… even in crossing the streets.

(1934 – ) American actor

The time to enjoy a European tour is about three weeks after you unpack.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq; after all, France wouldn’t help us get the Germans out of France!


(1950 – ) comedian & television host

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they’ll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

Every time an Oscar is given out, an agent gets his wings.

(1948 – ) American actress & director

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer

We called her Mother Earth… because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Rome had senators too, and that is why it declined.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor