Subject: Places (Page 44)

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
People Places Situations

The rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Places

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.


People Places

Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions, it is walled and roofed with them.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Places

Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Hollywood Places

Welcome to Hell… here's your accordion.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Places

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Conflict Places

Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places

The average Italian…. is a cowardly baritone who consumes 78.3 kilometers of carbohydrates a month and drives about in a car slightly smaller than he is, looking for a divorce.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
People Places

If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.

(1965 – ) American actor, writer & comedian
Places

Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Animals Places

It is so flat, you can stand on a milk crate and watch your dog run away for three days.

Expressions Places

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Intelligence New York City Reading/Writing

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America Communication Situations

First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Men People Places

I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Places Success Things

Toronto is a kind of New York operated by the Swiss.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Places

I'm from one of those places where the whole number system consists of one, two and a shitload.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Education Places

Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
England Food/Drink Places

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

(1925 – 2005) television host
Hollywood Places Success