Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, Murphy's Laws, insults & more
Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.
First Law of Office Murphology
However much a shower control may rotate, the degree of rotation required to change from ice-cold to scalding is never more than one millimeter.
(1957 – ) New Zealand writer
The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines.
Frank Lloyd Wright
(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.
If you know something can go wrong, and take due precaution to prevent it, something else will go wrong.
If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are sure to get out of it.
Austen's Second Law
If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.
Kettering's Second Law
No problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from!
Linus van Pelt
cartoon character in,
, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Success is a public affair; failure is a private funeral.
(1907 – 1976) American actress
Philosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Those who don’t study the past will repeat its errors; those who do study it will find OTHER ways to err.
Wolf's Law of History Lessons
If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
We made too many wrong mistakes.
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
A malfunctioning car will stop displaying symptoms of imminent breakdown when driven to within one-quarter mile of a garage.
Rawson’s Third Law
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
The Rule of Accuracy
The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.
(1935 – ) American cartoonist
Like trying to poke a cat out from under a porch with a wet rope.
(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
As Jed Clampett in “The Beverly Hillbillies”
There are coexisting elements in frustration phenomena which separate expected results from achieved results.
When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.
John F Kennedy
(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
If you break a cup or plate, it will not be the one that was already chipped or cracked.
Parson's First Law
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
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