Subject: Problems

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.

When my wife drives, there’s always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, “There’s water in the carburetor.” I asked her, “Where’s the car?” She said, “In a lake.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for it.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress

I am one of those people who just can’t help getting a kick out of life – even when it’s a kick in the teeth.

(1900 – 1962) Russian – Jewish madam & author

Trying is the first step towards failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Like most of those who study history, he [Napoleon III] learned from the mistakes of the past how to make new ones.

(1906 – 1990) British historian

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

1 + 1 hardly ever equals 2.

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd!

(1955 – ) English actor

Every solution breeds new problems.

An unexpectedly easy-to-handle sequence of events will be immediately followed by an equally long sequence of trouble.

The most delicate component will be dropped.

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.