Subject: Problems

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor

How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?

cartoon character, created by Hank Ketcham (1920 – 2001)

Status quo, you know, that is Latin for the mess we’re in.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

I love when problems have simple solutions: cold medicine… umbrellas… condoms… tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor

The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any persons watching it.

When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

In larger things we are convivial – What causes trouble is the trivial.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author

Life is just one damned thing after another.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer

Trying is the first step towards failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Everything breaks down.

The deficiency will never show itself during the dry runs.

Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

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