Subject: Problems » Failure

No experiment is ever a complete failure – it can always serve as a negative example.

No matter how careful one is in resealing the inner liner in a cereal box, it will tear where it is glued to the box.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Success is a public affair; failure is a private funeral.

(1907 – 1976) American actress

Everything breaks down.

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Trying is the first step towards failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

It is not enough to succeed, others must fail.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

(1918 – 1990) American aerospace engineer

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.