Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, Murphy's Laws, insults & more
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Alfred E. Neuman
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1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers.
3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.
Parallels To Murphy's Law
The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines.
Frank Lloyd Wright
(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.
First Law of Office Murphology
Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.
Assumption is the mother of the screw-up.
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
F. P. Jones's Creed
Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.
(1943 – 1971) rock singer
Nobody notices the big errors.
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host
The mistakes made by Congress wouldn't be so bad if the next Congress didn't keep trying to correct them.
(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Experience: The name an older man gives to his mistakes.
The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
(1911 – 1983) playwright
It's human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs – but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.
Issawi's Law of Frustration
When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place
Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.
Scott's Second Law
If you are going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.
(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.
American baseball umpire
If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes right.
The effort expended by the bureaucracy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of the error.
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