Subject: Problems (Page 24)

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Everything breaks down.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life Problems

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
New York City Places Problems

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

[My husband] and I are always fighting; when we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Conflict Marriage Problems

To err is human; to purr, feline.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Animals Cats Mistakes Problems

Like most of those who study history, he [Napoleon III] learned from the mistakes of the past how to make new ones.

(1906 – 1990) British historian
Mistakes Problems

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Failure Success

When things are going well, something will go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Problems Sports

Most bosses never lift a finger at work, unless it’s to point out something you did wrong.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Mistakes Work

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Mistakes People Self Speech

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Failure Intelligence Mistakes People

It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Sports

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems