Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Problems
(Page 5)
Life is just one damned thing after another.
Elbert Hubbard
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life
Problems
No problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from!
Linus van Pelt
cartoon character in,
Peanuts
, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Problems
We made too many wrong mistakes.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Mistakes
Yogi-isms
A $300 picture tube will protect a 10¢ fuse by blowing first.
Electronic theorem of television sets
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Breakage
Expense
The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.
Drazen's Law of Restitution
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Situations
Rectify
Never saw off the branch you are on, unless you are being hanged from it.
Stanisław Lec
(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Problems
Situations
I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Failure
Sports
Nature never makes any blunders, when she makes a fool she means it.
Archibald Alexander
(1772 – 1851) American Presbyterian theologian & professor
Fools
Intelligence
Mistakes
Problems
If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.
Will Rogers
(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People
Problems
Self
Kick
Tail
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence
Problems
Complex
Undecided
Well informed
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
Laws of Computer Programming IX
Mistakes
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.
Anonymous
Accidents
Body
Mind
Problems
A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.
Bob Edwards
(1947 – ) radio broadcaster & host
Intelligence
Problems
Stupidity
Danger
A drowning man is not troubled by rain.
Anonymous
People
Problems
Drowning man
Rain
He's completely unspoiled by failure.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure
Insults
The squeaky wheel doesn't always get greased; it often gets replaced.
Keith's Observation
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Squeaky wheels
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.
Andrew Perry
Golf
Problems
Sports
Trying is the first step towards failure.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Failure
Problems
Situations
Trying
Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise.
W.S. Gilbert
(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Problems
Things
Railroads
If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Problems
Wishes
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Thomas Szasz
(1920 – ) Hungarian writer
Problems
Two wrongs
Page 5 of 25
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