Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Problems
(Page 5)
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Failure
Problems
(also Thomas Edison)
Experiments
Automatic
simply means that you can’t repair it yourself.
Frank Capra
(1897 – 1991) Italian-born American film director
Problems
Situations
Things
Repairs
There comes a time when one must stop suggesting and evaluating new solutions, and get on with the job of analyzing and finally implementing one pretty good solution.
Optimum Optimorum Principle
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Solutions
What a pity human beings can't exchange problems; everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.
Olin Miller
(1918 - 2002) American author
People
Problems
Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day.
Nicolas Chamfort
(1741 – 1794) French writer
Problems
If on an actuarial basis there is a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten.
Economists' Law II
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
50-50 chances
Odds
To err is human – to blame it on someone else is even more human.
Jacob's Law
Mistakes
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Blame
The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any persons watching it.
Watson's Law
Murphy’s Laws
People
Problems
Machinery
Reliability
The number one thing about trouble is… don't get into more.
Dave Stockton
American professional golfer
Golf
Problems
Sports
Trouble
The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.
Sodd's Other Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Success
1. Nothing minor ever happens to a car on the weekend. 2. Nothing minor ever happens to a car on a trip. 3. Nothing minor ever happens to a car.
Hartman's Automotive Laws
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Weekends
When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.
John F Kennedy
(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Characteristics
Communication
Problems
Bad
Presidency
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
Problems
Christmas
Post Office
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
Finagle's Third Law
Mistakes
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Data
Obvious
The leading cause of hot air balloon crashes is blowing an open flame into a f**king cloth balloon with a basket attached.
Neal Brennan
(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Accidents
Problems
Things
Hot air balloons
I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call,
inflammable.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics
Malaprops
Mistakes
Infallible
Things always fall at right angles.
Sprinkle's Law
Accidents
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
If we really learned from our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the morning.
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
Mad
, an American humor magazine
Education
History
Learning
Mistakes
I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Failure
Sports
Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.
Chinese proverb
Problems
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.
Evans's and Bjorn's Law
Murphy’s Laws
People
Problems
Page 5 of 25
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