Subject: Reviews/Criticism


Biting reviews and criticism of film, theater, television, music, books etc.

I really should dynamite this movie just for forcing me to watch Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler try to act. The dude plays himself and I didn’t believe it – that’s how bad he is.

(movie reviews at

Think of Cowboys & Aliens as the wet spot on your mattress after a night of questionable passion. Everyone knows who made the wet spot, but no one wants to own up to it.

(movie reviews at

A movie that only an 8-year-old Christian environmentalist could love.

(1966 – ) American film critic

A movie so Freudian that you keep expecting it to grow a beard and move to Vienna.

(1962 – ) English journalist

This movie is a perfect example of what happens when no one’s career is actually on the line.

(movie reviews at

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Me no Leica.

(1913 – 1996) writer & Broadway theater critic

To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Perhaps it was made by beings from another planet, who were able to watch our television in order to absorb key concepts such as cars, sex, leukemia, and casinos, but formed an imperfect view of how to fit them together.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

In the first movement alone, I took note of six pregnancies and at least four miscarriages.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

This is the same old, tired crap that Woody Allen has been exporting for who knows how many years now. It's like drinking milk with an expiration date from the Reagan era.

(movie reviews at

One can’t judge Wagner’s opera Lohengrin after a first hearing, and I certainly don’t intend hearing it a second time.

(1792 – 1868) Italian composer

I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

… the most terrifying thing about The X-Files, in fact, are its “fans.” These guys make movie critics look healthy.

British film critic & writer

Their idea of a minority is, in all seriousness, a British dude painted orange.

film reviewer

Crude is the name of Robert Hyde’s first novel; it is also a criticism of it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The main character’s bout with cancer throughout 50/50 was nothing compared to the mental anguish I was forced to deal with as the 'plot' of this misguided medical morass unfolded before me.

(movie reviews at

I've seen audits that were more thrilling.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Fred Astaire looks as if he has just rolled out of his tomb, and Gene Kelly sports a toupee that looks borrowed from Howard Cosell for the occasion.

film reviewer

After Earth merits comparison with 2000’s Battlefield Earth, John Travolta’s godawful film tribute to the sci-fi novel by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. Yes, it’s that bad.

American film critic & televison interviewer
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