Subject: Reviews/Criticism

Reviews/Criticism:

Biting reviews and criticism of film, theater, television, music, books etc.


Regarded by many as the moment in US cinema when brain cells truly became optional…

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter; some day I intend reading it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist

I went into the Plymouth Theater a comparatively young woman, and I staggered out of it three hours later, twenty years older, haggard and broken with suffering.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Many TV programs suck, but none has ever sucked with such eye-popping abandon as this one.

Irish reviewer

Parents: If you encounter teenagers who say they liked this movie, do not let them date your children.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Watching HBO’s surfing drama John from Cincinnati is like sitting through a bad play at a tiny experimental theater.

American reporter & television critic

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist

Beware geeks bearing scripts.

Affleck probably got the part of the blind superhero because he was the only actor too inebriated to duck when the producers flung objects at his head.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

This feature makes Three Stooges Meet Hercules look like a visionary satire.

movie writer, reviewer & columnist

A critic often has to play the role of coroner, dissecting a work to find out why it died (or never lived). 

(1959 – ) American film critic

Barb Wire is unlikely to spark heated intellectual debate at film schools anytime soon.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

According to Hollywood logic, none of the actual Titanic passengers was interesting enough, so the writer-director had to invent a Romeo and Juliet-style fictional couple to heat up the catastrophe. This seems a tiny bit like giving Anne Frank a wacky best friend, to perk up that attic.

(Paul Rudnick) (1957 – ) Satiric film critic & author

Let me tell you, if your marriage is in trouble, skip the therapist and find a psycho; nothing brings people together faster.

(1959 – ) American film critic

Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch.

The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Planes is an abomination wrapped inside a bullshit party. That’s really all I want to write about this endless crap festival of a film…

(movie reviews at comedyfilmnerds.com)

The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

writer, editor & film reviewer
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