Subject: Reviews/Criticism


Biting reviews and criticism of film, theater, television, music, books etc.

When you’ve seen all of Ionesco’s plays… you’ve seen one of them.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer

This Mamet adaptation takes place in a very confined space, involves little or no action and is mostly concerned with how many minutes an actor can spew Mamet's laborious dialogue without collapsing.

(movie reviews at

Safe House will have you on the edge of your seat – so you can spring out of it the second the credits roll.

film critic

Mr. [Channing] Tatum… gives Keanu Reeves serious competition – defining numerous shades of blank of which I had been thus far unaware.

film critic

In space no one can hear you yawn.

film critic

As I watched Pacific Rim I could literally feel myself shedding IQ points the way Kate Hudson sheds a big lunch in the bathroom of the Beverly Hills Hotel.

American film critic

How do you say, “I want a refund,” in Italian?

film critic

The epitome of ‘blah.’

American movie critic

If you want to see what happens when independent filmmakers have too much money and don’t know what to do with it, just go see Bee Season.

(movie reviews at

Shakespeare in the mud.

American television critic

Think of Cowboys & Aliens as the wet spot on your mattress after a night of questionable passion. Everyone knows who made the wet spot, but no one wants to own up to it.

(movie reviews at

I'm afraid I missed large portions of this movie because my eyes spent so much time rolling.

American film critic

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Elliot Gould!? What, were George Segal and Ryan ONeal unavailable? Was it “free cheese day” at the celebrity shelter?

American film critic

When Mr. Wilbur calls his play ‘Halfway to Hell,’ he underestimates the distance.

(1894 – 1984) theatre critic

Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Logic and drama are what get purged here.

film critic

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist

It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.

(1881 – 1958) English novelist

This is an old idea, beautifully expressed by Wordsworth, who said, ‘Heaven lies about us in our infancy.’ If I could quote the whole poem instead of completing this review, believe me, we’d all be happier. But I press on.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

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