Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 26)

Thor is really just like your dad out in the garage after a few drinks. Only more racist.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

A friend of mine recently joked that his mobile phone will beat Magnus Carlsen; I said, ‘What are you talking about? My microwave could beat Magnus Carlsen.’

(1965 – ) British chess grandmaster & chess writer
Activities Reviews/Criticism

Orlando Bloom was so wooden he could have played the horse.

Irish film critic
Acting Reviews/Criticism

If they'd stuffed the child's head up the horse's arse, they would have solved two problems at once.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

If an artist has talent, he needs no other critic.

American writer
Art Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

… if you’ve ever wondered what kind of jokes dogs would tell if they could speak, here’s your chance.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

She was a singer who had to take every note above A with her eyebrows.

(1877 – 1934) British-American lawyer & writer
Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

What’s next for (Director Paul W.S.) Anderson? Maybe “Hannibal 2,” in which Anthony Hopkins escorts a group of toddlers to Chuck E. Cheese?

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Like something you'd see if the NRA had its own music-video channel.

(1959 – ) American film critic
Reviews/Criticism

In space no one can hear you yawn.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

The only conceivable reason for airing this was to bring the presenter to the greater public ridicule he so gratingly deserves.

(1954 – ) British writer & critic
Reviews/Criticism

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

There is some serious venom spewing from this movie, probably because screenwriters Steve Franks and Tim Herlihy are beginning to realize their only talent in life consists of riding their friend’s coattails through the Garden of Mediocrity.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Think of Cowboys & Aliens as the wet spot on your mattress after a night of questionable passion. Everyone knows who made the wet spot, but no one wants to own up to it.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Another half-baked helping of the worst kind of scientific clap-trap.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Bratz (freaky looking teen dolls for girls whose parents won’t let them play with real teenagers) is now a high school movie made for people in Grade 6.

American writer & film critic
Reviews/Criticism

Mr Lewis’ pictures appeared to have been painted by a mailed fist in a cotton glove.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Art Reviews/Criticism

With this kind of epic ineptitude – hell, the flick is set in the year 3000 – you go for “worst of the millennium.”

American film critic & televison interviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

There's less in this than meets the eye.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Reviews/Criticism

His pictures seem to resemble not pictures but a sample book of patterns of linoleum.

(1890 – 1954) British critic
Reviews/Criticism