Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Reviews/Criticism
(Page 27)
The play holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée… by an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism
In a review
The Road to Wellville
… is basically a… production of a
Benny Hill
episode.
Scott Renshaw
American film critic
Reviews/Criticism
"The Road to Wellville"
I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.
Roger Ebert
(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism
“Seven Days In Utopia”
The entire film seems to consist of three thoughts, cycled ad nauseum: Don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. Make me a vampire.
Rubin Safaya
film critic
Reviews/Criticism
“The Twilight Saga: New Moon”
There’s saccharine writing and then there’s writing that, if you could liquefy it and inject it into the five-year-olds watching this thing, would launch them into space. This is the latter.
Mr. Cranky
(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism
“Because of Winn-Dixie”
The battle was lost several movies earlier.
Spyder Darling
musician & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
Review of “Battle For The Planet Of The Apes”
This poem will not reach its destination.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Reviews/Criticism
On Jean Baptiste Rousseau's ode “To Posterity”
You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer.
Roger Ebert
(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism
Review of “Revolver”
Is this what we’ve been reduced to? A film whose noise and explosions are separated from the season’s other noise and explosions solely by the fact that they’re painted blue?
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“Poseidon”
If you want to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Hollywood is a cesspool of whoredom and back-door deal-making, just look at the credits of the writers responsible for this monstrous piece of crap.
Mr. Cranky
(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism
“X-Men: The Last Stand”
Whenever I see Denise Richards I tend to say the same thing Dustin Hoffman’s father said in “The Graduate”: ‘plastics’.
Mr. Cranky
(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism
“Empire”
Denise Richards
Progressing from nowhere to nothing and leaving only a greasy taste in the mouth as a reward.
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“Conan the Barbarian”
Elliot Gould!? What, were George Segal and Ryan ONeal unavailable? Was it “free cheese day” at the celebrity shelter?
Mark Ramsey
American film critic
Reviews/Criticism
“Contagion”
They say he rides as if he’s part of the horse, but they don’t say which part.
Robert E. Sherwood
(1896 – 1955) American playwright
Reviews/Criticism
Of cowboy hero Tom Mix
You leave eager to tell your friends about the unprecedented awfulness you’ve witnessed.
Edward Porter
English movie reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“Boat Trip”
“The Sweetest Thing”
There's less in this than meets the eye.
Tallulah Bankhead
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Reviews/Criticism
Review of a Broadway play
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
Christopher Hampton
(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Communication
Reviews/Criticism
Also John Osbourne
Citics
Writers
This feature makes Three Stooges Meet Hercules look like a visionary satire.
Bob Thompson
movie writer, reviewer & columnist
Reviews/Criticism
“Tomcats”
A buxom temptress… more impressive in silhouette than in action.
Kenneth Tynan
(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Acting
Reviews/Criticism
Of actress Yvonne Furneaux
Even this comedic triumvirate cannot prevent the script’s biggest feat of magic: making the laughs disappear.
Kirk Baird
writer & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”
This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
Roger Ebert
(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism
“Freddy Got Fingered”
Page 27 of 28
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