Subject: Science/Weather

The trouble isn’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician

Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist

It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.

Art is science made clear.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one’s living at it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

(1943 – 2004) author & psychologist

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.


The amount of time you have to wait for a bus is directly proportional to the inclemency of the weather.

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue…and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?… where does the glue go?"

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Wind: Weather on the go.

There's no place like!

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

The thing with high-tech is that you always end up using scissors.

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
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