Subject: Science/Weather

The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just beyond reach.

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice… but, in practice, there is.

(1953 – 1994) Dutch computer scientist & educator

On the downside, it's loaded with sexual predators; on the plus side, it's also loaded with sexual prey.

(1973 – ) American comedian

Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side

It is so hot… by the time I got home from buying eggs, I had twelve chicks in the bag.

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight; blue sky at night… day.


The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

I ran into Isosceles; he has a great idea for a new triangle!

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

Brace Yourselves for a Good 12 inches!

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Architecture is the art of how to waste space.

(1906 – 2005) architect

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it’s modern architecture.

(1929 – ) British television & radio critic

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