Subject: Science/Weather

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.

cartoon character
Science/Weather

A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.

Science/Weather

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Science/Weather

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Family Relationships Science/Weather

Brace Yourselves for a Good 12 inches!

Headlines Science/Weather

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
People Science/Weather

It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather

Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

Headlines Science/Weather

It is so hot… Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Heat Science/Weather

I am an expert of electricity; my father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Science/Weather

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Facts Language Science/Weather

Scientists are trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn’t be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

(1914 – 1997) American writer
Science/Weather

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Body Mothers Science/Weather

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

(1871 – 1937) New Zealand-born British nuclear physicist
Science/Weather

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather

If a thing cannot be fitted into something smaller than itself, some dope will do it.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places Science/Weather

How does Teflon stick to the pan?

Science/Weather