Subject: Science/Weather (Page 3)

Why are the pictures square if the lens is round?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

There will be a procession next Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the monastery; but if it rains in the afternoon, the procession will take place in the morning.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

If the thermometer had been an inch longer we’d all have frozen to death.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

Everything is cold except what should be.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.