Science/Weather | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Science/Weather (Page 5)

I played as much golf as I could in North Dakota, but summer up there is pretty short. It usually falls on Tuesday.

Mike Morley

professional golfer

Science/Weather On why he left North Dakota Summer

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Grosch's Law

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things Speed

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

People Science/Weather Adopted Darwin

In India, ‘cold weather’ is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door knob and weather which only makes it mushy.

Mark Twain

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Heat Science/Weather India

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Anonymous

Definitions Science/Weather Psychology

Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight; blue sky at night… day.

Tom Parry

Humorist

Science/Weather

I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.

Bobby Jones

professional golfer

Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports On being told that the temperature in a tournament was 105 degrees in the shade

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Anonymous

Definitions Science/Weather Seasons Winter

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Cold People Self Childhood Poverty

It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer; we have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap – FIX IT!

Problems Science/Weather Ozone layer

In Alaska, we have just two seasons — this winter and next winter.

Leigh Wade

(1897 – 1991) American Air Force General

Places Science/Weather Alaska Winter

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Anonymous

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Distant relatives are the best kind, and the further the better.

Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Family Science/Weather Distance Relatives

The thing with high-tech is that you always end up using scissors.

David Hockney

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer

Science/Weather Scissors Technology

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

Tom Stoppard

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

Entertainment Music Science/Weather Aviation Beethoven

I can levitate birds… no one cares.

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Animals Science/Weather Birds Levitation

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

Tewksbury's Law of Motion

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather (Dave Tewksbury) Bed Bodies in motion

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Anonymous

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Why are the pictures square if the lens is round?

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Science/Weather

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.

Anonymous

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather Mathematics Statistician

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humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Science/Weather (Page 5)

Everything else causes cancer in rats.

I played as much golf as I could in North Dakota, but summer up there is pretty short. It usually falls on Tuesday.

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

In India, ‘cold weather’ is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door knob and weather which only makes it mushy.

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight; blue sky at night… day.

I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer; we have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap – FIX IT!

In Alaska, we have just two seasons — this winter and next winter.

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Distant relatives are the best kind, and the further the better.

The thing with high-tech is that you always end up using scissors.

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

I can levitate birds… no one cares.

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Why are the pictures square if the lens is round?

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.