Subject: Science » Weather

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer

It is so hot… Ed is actually putting ice in his Scotch.

(1925 – 2005) television host

It is so hot… the trees are whistling for the dogs.

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

The day of the big heat wave is the day the office air conditioning breaks down.

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

We shall never be content until man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.

(1859 – 1927) English writer

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.