Subject: Science » Weather

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

There will be a procession next Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the monastery; but if it rains in the afternoon, the procession will take place in the morning.

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

No matter how clear the skies are, a thunderstorm will move in 5 minutes after the papers are delivered.

It is so hot… the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

Sleet: A slipcover.

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Never change your plans because of the weather.

It was so cold… polar bears were buying fur coats.