Subject: Science » Weather

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Wind: Weather on the go.

No matter how clear the skies are, a thunderstorm will move in 5 minutes after the papers are delivered.

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

comedian, counselor & speaker

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In the Cold

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

In New England there are three times of year… either winter has just been, or winter is coming, or it’s winter.

American author

It is so hot… Ed is actually putting ice in his Scotch.

(1925 – 2005) television host

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

It always rains on tents; rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Winter is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive

It was a dry rain.

(1925 – ) baseball player, coach & manager