Subject: Science » Weather

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

comedian, counselor & speaker

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician

Wind: Weather on the go.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

It is so hot… Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Winter is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

It is so hot… Ed is actually putting ice in his Scotch.

(1925 – 2005) television host

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

A hurricane you can watch come at you for a week on the TV, and you don't get out of the way; a tornado – you're just in a trailer making meth; next thing you know, it's tipped over.

Canadian comedian

It was so cold… politicians stopped blowing hot air.

The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.

But if you figure in the wind chill factor, it’s only 102.

professional golfer
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