Subject: Science » Weather

The rain is coming down like gangbusters!

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold, I almost got married.

(1920 – 2006) American actress

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

The rain was coming down in droves!

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director

The day of the big heat wave is the day the office air conditioning breaks down.

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

It is so hot… by the time I got home from buying eggs, I had twelve chicks in the bag.

It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

There will be a procession next Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the monastery; but if it rains in the afternoon, the procession will take place in the morning.

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

Brace Yourselves for a Good 12 inches!

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

It is so hot… Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Never change your plans because of the weather.

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.