Subject: Science » Weather

The amount of time you have to wait for a bus is directly proportional to the inclemency of the weather.

The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

It is so hot… the trees are whistling for the dogs.

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director

We shall never be content until man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.

(1859 – 1927) English writer

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold, I almost got married.

(1920 – 2006) American actress

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Last week, Hurricane Wilma grew into the strongest storm ever recorded in the Atlantic, with sustained winds at 175 miles per hour… or, as it’s called around FEMA, ‘Casual Friday’.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician

The day of the big heat wave is the day the office air conditioning breaks down.