Subject: Science » Weather

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

professional baseball player

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer

The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.

Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In the Cold

Sleet: A slipcover.

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

The day of the big heat wave is the day the office air conditioning breaks down.

Never change your plans because of the weather.

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

It's so hot, you can lay an egg on the sidewalk.

(1971 – ) American actress

In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.