Subject: Sex

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

(1892 – 1972) American comedian, dancer & composer

Nobody ever had to steal Georgie's affections – he gave them away at the drop of a skirt.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

My girlfriend likes to play doctor; so I always make her wait 90 minutes before I see her.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor

Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.


Familiarity breeds attempt.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

comedian, writer, actor & producer

I told her the thing I loved most about her was her mind… because that's what told her to get into bed with me naked.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

If a man can f**k and drive race cars… man… I mean, what else-is there?

American auto racer

The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south.

(1939 – ) professor of journalism & author

I got a German porno movie… which has subtitles, which is great 'cause, otherwise, I would have had no idea what was going on.

stand-up comedian, writer & actor

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home, so I went over… nobody was home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

My daughter… she failed her drivers test; she couldn’t get used to the front seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me, I’m profoundly grateful to her.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

You were born with your legs apart; they'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian

Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified performance.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author

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