Subject: Sex (Page 5)

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac, but flowers work almost as well.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Money Sex

Virginity is a balloon in the carnival of life, that vanishes with the first prick.

Sex

Physics is like sex; sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
Science/Weather Sex

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose; last night she used me to time an egg.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Wives

Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken.


Sex

I don't know why people video tape sex because after I have sex, the only thing I can think of is that I'm glad nobody saw that.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Sex

You treat my daughter with respect – you buy her breakfast if she puts out.

American comedian & writer
Relationships Sex

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds… the other 19 are shame.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Men People Sex

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Ideas Sex Situations

I had to go by the drug store to get some marital aids: breath mints for you and Wild Turkey for me!

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Men are only as loyal as their options.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Men Sex

Sex and politics are a lot alike; you don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Government Politics Sex

Everything that goes up must come down; but there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
People Self Sex

When my wife has sex, she screams… especially when I walk in on her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education Sex Young

The worst thing about oral sex… the view.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Sex

I have low self-esteem; when were in bed together, I would fantasize that I was someone else.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics People Self Sex

My girlfriend always laughs during sex… no matter what she’s reading.

(1955 –2011) business magnate, co-founder & CEO of Apple
Emotions Girlfriends Laughter Relationships Sex

Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
People Sex Women

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.


Intelligence Men People Self Sex

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home, so I went over… nobody was home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Situations