Subject: Sports

Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of the same today.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

When Neil Armstong first set foot on the moon, he and all the space scientists were puzzled by an unidentifiable white object; I knew immediately what it was… that was a home run ball hit off me in 1933 by Jimmie Foxx.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

Oral sex should be an Olympic sport because it’s harder than curling, and if you’re good at it, you deserve a medal.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager

It’s basically the same, just darker.

stock car racer

I was hoping I could still be an underwear model after my career is over.

Canadian hockey player

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive

It gets late out there early.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

Johnny Carson gently suggested to Cobb that Larry Holmes seemed to be always a step ahead of him

Cobb replied: Did it seem that way to you too?

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight.

wife of fighter Joe Bugner

You usually wind up staying up all night, or until your best player comes in.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Let me know if Cain is able.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

The Rangers…

Canadian professional hockey goalie

Howard Cosell would rather shave a wild lion with a dull razor than fight me. 

(1942 – ) American boxing champion

If you believe that [Anna Kournikova's claim that she is a virgin], I've never questioned a call in my life.

American professional tennis player

Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

I don’t think this is an example of life and limb being at risk; I like the fact that our fans care.

football team president

Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

When I asked the baseball writers why they haven't elected me to the Hall of Fame, they told me they thought I was still playing.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor

Speed, strength and the inability to register pain immediately.

American football player
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