Subject: Sports

When I got up I stuck to my plan… stumbling forward and getting hit in the face.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Rugby: A game played by gentlemen with odd-shaped balls.

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

When you the man who beat the man who was the man… well, then you ‘The Man.’

American boxing champion

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

It’s nice to have a guy that young come along; we usually go out and find somebody who’s 47.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager

… when we came in at halftime we pulled off our socks and began putting iodine on the teeth marks in our legs.

American football player & coach

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion

You have to give Pete credit for what he's accomplished; he never went to college and the only book he ever read was The Pete Rose Story.

Ex-wife of Pete Rose

He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.

British sports commentator

Let's go out there and win one for the quipper.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Playing with your spouse on the golf course runs almost as great a marital risk as getting caught playing with someone else's anywhere else.

golf journalist

There seems only one way to beat George Foreman: shell him for three days and then send the infantry in.

(1934 – ) Scottish sports writer

Squash – that’s not exercise, it’s flagellation.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

He needed a psychiatrist more than I did.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder

The batsman’s is Holding, the bowler’s Willey.

cricket announcer

My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.

American tennis player, instructor & broadcaster

Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport; dancing is a contact sport.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach

He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes.

American professional golfer
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