Subject: Sports

They're like two bulldogs eating lunch off a Brillo pad!

Canadian hockey player

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

I’m throwing as hard as I ever did, but the ball is just not getting there as fast.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

Charles joined my family for a day at the beach and my children asked if they could go into the ocean; I had to tell them “Not right now kids, Charles is using it.”

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

I don’t think this is an example of life and limb being at risk; I like the fact that our fans care.

football team president

Speaking from memory, I don't know how many points Nelson Piquet has.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

We play a man-to-man defense. Person to person sounds like a telephone call.

He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.

British sports commentator

It would have been a good pass if Harry had been playing for us.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast.

Rugby is a game for men with no fear of brain injury.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place… but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor

I was once knocked out by a Mexican bantamweight – six of my pals were swinging him around by his heels at the time.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls, Nike Says

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

It was strange. The only English words I saw were Sony and Mitsubishi.

American baseball player

Playing middle linebacker is like walking through a lion's cage in a three-piece porkchop suit.

professional football player

You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you.

American baseball player

There are two types of forwards. Scorers and bangers. Scorers score and bangers bang.

Canadian hockey goaltender, politician, lawyer, businessman & author

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Nigel Mansell is someone with about as much charisma as a damp spark-plug.

British sportswriter













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