Subject: Sports

Not a good night for Zola Budd. She died on the last lap and finished fourth.

Statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches.

American baseball pitcher

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I’ll always be Number 1 to myself.

professional basketball player

If you believe that [Anna Kournikova's claim that she is a virgin], I've never questioned a call in my life.

American professional tennis player

Punt returns will kill you quicker than a minnow can swim a dipper.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach

There was three minutes to go about two minutes ago.

English football player & manager

Pose nude for Playgirl? … I wouldn't pose nude for Boxing News.

English boxer

Trying to throw a fastball by Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sun by a rooster.

(1929 – ) American baseball player

His gloves, dear. I've never been hit by an eye in my life.

British boxer

I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time.

British boxer

His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.

American boxer

I’m not dropping a bar of soap in the shower near [kicker] Garo Yepremian.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor

The series is already won, but I don’t know by which team.

professional baseball player

He's so strong, he doesn't call the cattle in… he carries them in.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player

That slow motion doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling.

Australian cricketer & commentator

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player

The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field… no, wait a minute… it’s ball one… low and outside.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it.

football coach

Put an ordinary driver in an Indy-type race car and he'd probably crash before he got out of the pit area.

American auto racer

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player

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