Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 3)

Swing hard in case you hit it.

(1961 – ) American football player

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer

She's slower than trying to bake a pie with a lighter.

American professional golfer

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Fairway: A narrow strip of closely mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

I wouldn't say God couldn't have got out of it, but he'd have had to throw it.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.

But if you figure in the wind chill factor, it’s only 102.

professional golfer

I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?

American professional golfer

The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

Spanish professional golfer

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer

It’s not over yet.

British professional golfer & commentator

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

My handicap is that I don’t have a big enough beer cooler for the back of my golf cart.

professional football player

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)

Golf… is the infallible test; the man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Fore: A golf bawl.

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer