Subject: Sports » Hockey

Kerry, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve made far worse calls than that.

hockey broadcaster

I'd spend six months behind bars to have him on my team.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster

I grabbed it and squeezed it back into place. It gave a little crunch and popped right in.

Canadian hockey player

Three years ago, I couldn't spell author. Now I am one.

Canadian hockey player, coach & commentator

No big deal. I just watched the game. I had the best seats of anyone in the crowd. It was awesome.

Czech hockey player

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

My teeth weren't that good to begin with, so hopefully I can get some better ones.

Canadian hockey player

War is hell, but expansion is worse.

hockey coach

It takes brains; it's not like forward, where you can get away with scoring and not play defense… on defense you have to be thinking.

American hockey player

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager

Here’s Hodge on the breakaway! He’s all by himself. He shoots. And Hodge missed the goal! He’ll be thinking about that one for a while! Just look at the expression on Hodge’s stick!

We've made a final offer. We hope [player] Ziggy Palffy will come to his senses. We have NO hope his agent will.

American player, coach & general manager

I think they bring me luck… I guess I'll have to like seafood now.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender

They say something to me sometimes. But I don't understand all the words yet. So I smile at them and then I go score goal.

Russian hockey player

Bob Kelly was so dumb, they shoulda written his name on the Stanley Cup in crayon.

American sports announcer

Aren’t all coaches interim coaches?

Canadian ice hockey coach

They say you're not a coach in the league till you've been fired. I must be getting pretty good.

Canadian hockey player & coach

Basketball players get the girls, hockey players take them home.

Hockey’s the only place where a guy can go nowadays and watch two white guys fight.


(1938 – 2017) American sportswriter & novelist

I slept like a baby. Every two hours I woke up and cried.

Canadian hockey coach

Tell him he’s Wayne Gretzky.

Canadian hockey player













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