Subject: Sports » Hockey

The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster

Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.

Anytime you hold Dallas to a one touchdown, it's not all bad.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager

I didn’t drop my gloves. They were yanked off me.

professional hockey player

They say you're not a coach in the league till you've been fired. I must be getting pretty good.

Canadian hockey player & coach

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender

Yes, the guy can score you 40 goals… what I don't want is him causing 60.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster

They're like two bulldogs eating lunch off a Brillo pad!

Canadian hockey player

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Czech hockey player

When he gets mad, it's like he's in another world. He'll look at you with those big eyes and they'll be going around in circles.

professional hockey player

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

Canadian hockey player

We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.

professional hockey player

We appreciate all the fans that are here, but we really respect the five or six who stayed with us all year.

(1962 – ) American ice hockey goaltender

A goal, an assist and a fight.

American ice hockey player

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player

We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.

professional hockey player

Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental. 

Canadian hockey player & sports reporter

Every time I see you naked I feel bad for your wife.

Czech hockey player

After I took the Olympic job, my wife said to me, ‘You love hockey more than you love me.’ I told her, ‘Yes, dear, but I love you more than hunting and fishing.’

American hockey player & coach

I had to pinch myself seeing the grassy knoll and the book suppository building.

Canadian hockey player

He had better get married soon, because he's getting uglier every day!

Canadian hockey player













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