Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 2)

Tell him he’s Wayne Gretzky.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

All hockey players are bilingual; they know English and profanity.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

A goal, an assist and a fight.

American ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

They're like two bulldogs eating lunch off a Brillo pad!

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.

professional hockey player
Activities Hockey Misspokements

The only way we could have, was to have shot him before the game started.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie.

Canadian-born American hockey player
Hockey Sports

I'd trade Larry Murphy for a shaved monkey who could skate and a bucket of pucks.

Hockey Sports

Every time I get injured, my wife ends up pregnant.

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The playoffs separate the men from the boys, and we found out we have a lot of boys in our dressing room.

Canadian hockey general manager
Hockey Sports

I’m not a cancer, I’m a Gemini.

American ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

He's the second-best goalie on the ice.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

No, I don't fight anybody I played against in Juniors. I think everyone I played Juniors with is dead now.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Always remember one thing: From the time the game starts until it ends, you and I are the only sane men on the ice.

professional ice hockey referee
Hockey Sports

If our goalies were in a divorce case, they could sue for lack of support and be millionaires tomorrow.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

He had better get married soon, because he's getting uglier every day!

Canadian hockey player
Appearance Hockey Sports Ugly

Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded – accordion-style – back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Hockey Sports

He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.

Hockey Sports

The three important elements of hockey are: forecheck, backcheck and paycheck.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports