Subject: Success

These days a star is anyone who can hold a microphone; a super star is someone who has shaken hands with Lew Grade, and a super-super-star is someone who has refused to shake hands with Lew Grade.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you've got to start young.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president

Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

First year, a .500 season – second year, a conference championship – third year, undefeated – fourth year, a national championship – and in the fifth year, we’ll be on probation, of course.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach

I don't believe I'll ever get credit for anything I do in foreign affairs, no matter how successful it is, because I didn't go to Harvard.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

After a fellow gets famous it doesn’t take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behavior of a successful person.

An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence; this explains why we have so many stupid leaders.

(1920 – 2003) American writer

If anything goes bad, I did it… if anything goes semi-good, we did it… if anything goes really good, then you did it; that's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach

Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck and since the first two are a function of the third, it’s pretty much all luck.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

You should always accept because of the pain it brings to your enemies.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.

(1967 – ) English comedian
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