Subject: Time

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
People Time

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time

If you have something to do and you put it off for long enough, the chances are someone else will do it for you.

Murphy’s Laws Time

There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.

Murphy’s Laws Time

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics People Time

The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is — he’s the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Death Future People Time

In terms of timetables, as quickly as possible – whatever that means.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Time

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time

My watch is three hours fast, and I can’t fix it… so I’m going to move to New York.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things Time

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Food/Drink Proverbs Science/Weather Time

Absolutum obsoletum – If it works, it’s out of date.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

The late start is due to the time.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Time

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Housework Things Time Work

By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Past Science/Weather Time

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.

(1924 – 1997) Dutch-American artist
Money Poverty Time

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Time Work

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past; I think the past was not predictable when it started.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Future Time