Subject: Time

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

Good punctuation means not to be late.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

(1803 – 1869) French Romantic composer

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder

If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

The effort expended by the bureaucracy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of the error.

The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.

American baseball player

It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician

There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 a.m… it could be the right number.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.

(1878 – 1969) clergyman

Perhaps nothing has changed in the course of history as much as historians.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef

The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist













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