Subject: Time » Future

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is — he’s the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

What Orwell failed to predict was that we’d buy the cameras ourselves… and that our biggest fear would be that nobody was watching.

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past; I think the past was not predictable when it started.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense

The future will be better tomorrow.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Why should I do anything for posterity? … what has posterity ever done for me?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

You always say 'I'll quit when I start to slide,' and then one morning you wake up and realize you done slid.

(1921 – 1989) American boxing champion

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

What happens when the future has come and gone?


I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I've got my faults, but living in the past isn't one of them; there's no future in it.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager

In the year 3000, everything will be instant… but the DMV will still take, like, nine f**king seconds.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer

There’s no future in time travel.

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