Subject: Tom Swifties

Tom Swifties:

A Tom Swifty is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. The name comes from the Tom Swift series of books.

“The average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz,” said Tom in measured tones.

“I visit my parents every Sunday,” said Tom weakly.

“I can eat one hundred and forty-four,” Tom boasted grossly.

“For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful,” said Tom gracefully.

“Have some shampoo,” was Tom’s unconditional offer.

“Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb?” asked Mary hysterically.

“This oar is broken,” said Tom robustly.

“Now no-one can detect my halitosis,” said Tom breathlessly.

“Someone bumped into me while I was brushing my teeth,” said Tom with a gleam in his eye.

“The insect in William’s hand is wearing a yarmulka!” said Tom jubilantly.

“I don’t know any shanties,” said Tom unceasingly.

“There’s someone at the front door,” Tom chimed in.

“The policeman charged me twenty bucks for speeding,” said Tom finally.

“Don’t call me a oddball,” Tom replied evenly.

“Someday I’ll run the CIA,” said Tom aspiringly.

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess,” Tom began grimly.

“I’m a broken man,” Tom cracked.

“The girl has been kidnapped,” said Tom mistakenly.

“This blood-sucking insect likes French cheese,” said Tom briefly.

“You must be my host,” Tom guessed.

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

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