Subject: Tom Swifties

Tom Swifties:

A Tom Swifty is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. The name comes from the Tom Swift series of books.

“Where’s my pants?” asked Tom briefly.

“Rowing so much hurts my hands,” said Tom callously.

“My wife is cheating on me,” Tom cackled.

“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

“I’ve got another @#$%*! insect in my pants”, said Tom adamantly.

“I’m very popular with women”, said Don wanly.

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.

“I think I’ve broken my leg ”, reported Tom lamely.

“That horse looks like a good bet at 20 to 1,” said Tom oddly.

“I’ve been to a film festival in Southern France,” said Tom cannily.

“That’s already been taken care of,” Tom pretended.

“I won’t finish in fifth place,” Tom held forth.

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

“It’s not a candy mint, it’s a breath mint”, Tom asserted.

“I compliment the company that makes the Macintosh computer,” said Tom applauding.

“It’s not fair!” said Tom darkly.

“The food here is terrible,” he muttered, swallowing his words.

“I used to command a battalion of German ants,” said Tom exuberantly.

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