Subject: TV/Movie Quotes

TV/Movie Quotes:

Humorous lines from television, film and fictional characters
                         (click on name for more quotes by that character)

Sam: You drinking again?

Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.

(1951 – ) American actress

You wanna talk that Russian talk, take yourself back over to the USSO.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

It’s not easy being green.

(1936 – 1990) cartoonist, screenwriter, director & creator of the Muppets

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.

(1967 – ) American actress & producer

We're Bundys. We don't call the cops. People call them on us.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

Comedy is tragedy plus time!

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter

Time’s fun when you're having flies.

(1936 – 1990) cartoonist, screenwriter, director & creator of the Muppets

Paul: Would somebody like to listen to my announcement?

[his daughter Kerry: Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.

(1979 – ) American actress

Frasier: I just came off a seven year marriage. It’s hard to think of replacing Lilith.

Carla: Just go to the morgue and open any drawer.

(1948 – ) American actress

Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

It’s not the men in your life that matters, it’s the life in your men.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?

S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The Bible’s full of wine… God ain’t got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son’s birthday with.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

‘Maebe’: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?

Michael: That’s a cross.

’Maebe’: Across from where?

(1989 – ) American actress

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Julie Kavner)

I’m tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol

Boris: If, by some mistake, I’m not killed tomorrow, would you marry me?

Sonja: What do you think the odds are?

1946 – ) American film actress, director & producer
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