Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 3)

If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away.

(1938 – ) American actor
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

You can leave in a taxi… If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff… if that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Edward Lewis [after Vivian] answers his call]: I told you not to pick up the phone.
Vivian: Then stop calling me.

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Can I draw you a beer, Norm?

No, I know what they look like; just pour me one.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

I can see you’re still waiting on that spine donor.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Age TV/Movie Quotes

I’d give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward!

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Look how she moves… it’s like Jell-O on springs!

(1925 – 2001) actor & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Wayne Carter: Spring is the time for love.

Flower Belle Lee: What’s the matter with the rest of the year?

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Love TV/Movie Quotes

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?

Edina: Get cabs!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Women… can’t live with ‘em… pass the beer nuts.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes Women

Tony: Do you remember what you said to your wife to break up with her?

Alex: Yes, I remember what I said – I said, “Why is that man wearing my pajamas?”

(1935 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children TV/Movie Quotes

Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

In health news, scientists have announced the invention of a women’s condom; it works by fitting snugly over a woman’s wine glass.

(1953 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

That’s what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped ’em out of Manhattan.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Mouth-to-mouth restitution.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Gloria Munson: What do you think I should do for my first exercise?

Sue Ann: What about a headstand.

Gloria Munson: You mean, you just want me to stand on my head.

Sue Ann: No, I want to stand on your head.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.

Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes