Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 5)

Most women use more brains picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband.

(1924 – 2014) American actress & model
Husbands Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Jim: You know, you really need to clean up those bathrooms.
Alex Rieger: You just came from the kitchen.
Jim: Thank God.

(1938 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I have an interesting case. I’m treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I’m getting paid by eight people.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’s going down, Normie?

Norm: My butt cheeks on that bar stool.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I’ve been like a mother to that girl. I’ve locked her in her room, told her she was fat, and once I even left her in a store!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

[Leonard & Alice are kissing] Leonard: Damn it, I can’t. I can’t do this.

Alice: Is it my tongue stud? ‘Cause if that freaks you out, you’re in for a real surprise later on.

(1978 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

Right, and the check is in my mouth.

(1971 – ) American actress
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

I don’date these girls because they’re well-read. I gave one of them a copy of “Farewell to Arms” . She thought it was a diet book.

(1934 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me, they’re thinking, “That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.”

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

It took me two weeks to find Stella’s apartment. She had neglected to give me her address.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Maybe my mind chewed off more than the mind should bite.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Today Chicago, tomorrow's Saturday.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Coach: What can I do for you, Norm?

Norm: I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Dances with Wool.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Which reminds me of the time an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi and a Priest all go into a bar and the barman looks up and says ‘Is this a joke?’

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

That's the thing that broke the straw.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.

Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.

(1973 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

A bird in the hand is worth a foot in the tush.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes