Subject: Work (Page 25)

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handy man with a sense of humus.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Work

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

(1940 – ) English politician
Work

First rate mathematicians choose first rate people, but second rate mathematicians choose third rate people.

(1906 – 1998) French mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Situations Work

Who says nothing is impossible?… some people do it every day!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Work

The taxpayer… that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the Civil Service examination.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Government Lawyers Occupations Work

The pay is good and I can walk to work.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Government Occupations President Work

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Definitions Occupations Work

You know I'm the only Iraqi comedian… yeah true… at least that makes us three more than Germany.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Occupations People Places Work

Love can be sordid only if you work at it.

(1952 – ) cartoonist
Emotions Love Work

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Occupations Work

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Education School Work

A high paying rush job comes in only after you've committed to a low paying rush job.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government People Work

Those who rise to executive positions lack the qualifications for anything lower.

Murphy’s Laws Work