Subject: Work (Page 4)

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Occupations Work

Second-rate people hire third-rate people.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Education Misspokements Occupations

“Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.

Occupations Wordplay Work

See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Language Work

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Hockey is the only job I know where you get paid to have a nap on the day of the game.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Sports Work

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is… and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Housework Work

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things Work

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Ideas Intelligence Work

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

Growing up, all I wanted was a racecar bed, but by parents refused to get me one.. but now that I’m doing comedy, I get to sleep in a real car.

American comedian
Occupations Work

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Occupations Sports Work

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he’s out of.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Family Work

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

If a scientist were to cut his ear off, no one would take it as evidence of a heightened sensibility.

(1915 – 1987) Brazilian/British biologist
Intelligence Occupations Science/Weather Work

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Success Time Work

I was born lazy; I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Work

Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the ark.

People Work