Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous
Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Caffeine
Wild
whores
could not drag me away.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Horses
Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labor.
Anonymous
Definitions
Anesthetic
Childbirth
Labor
Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Good Neighbor
“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
She has extra-
century
perception.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Extrasensory perception (ESP)
Intuition
Brain: The apparatus with which we think we think.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Brain
Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Money
Pessimism
We wanted to help the
indiguous
people of the country.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Indigenous
Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Night Club
I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“The roof is about to collapse”, Tom upheld.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.
Anonymous
Age
Birthdays
Alone… in bad company
Anonymous
Insults
We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.
Anonymous
People
Self
Let’s start at square zero.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Business Lunch: Lunch.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Business Lunch
“I’m wearing a ribbon round my arm,” said Tom with abandon.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“That just doesn’t add up,” said Tom, nonplussed.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Cute as a duck in a hat.
Anonymous
Expressions
Cute
Pretty
That's a huge weight lifted off my head.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
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