Author: Anonymous

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

“Sesame,” said Tom openly.

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

“Don’t you know my name?” asked Tom swiftly.

Even in a sewer, the cream rises to the top.

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

You’d be a overweight neurotic fighter too if your name was Shirley Crabtree.

“Rasputin and I are lovers,” said Nicholas bizarrely.

He had to use a fire distinguisher.

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace.

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Communist: One who has yearnings for equal division of unequal earnings.

Twins: Womb-mates.

We wanted to help the indiguous people of the country.

Education: What you have left over when you subtract what you’ve forgotten from what you learned.

X: The signature of a happy man.

Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.

Martial Arts: A family of Asiatic self-defense disciplines consisting largely of sweeping ornamental gestures of the arms and legs – amusing to look at but disappointingly ineffective when one’s opponent is armed with a semi-automatic.

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