Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 157
Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Definitions
Food/Drink
Zigzag
Run it up the flag pole and see what sticks.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Monogamy
Due process of elimination
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.
Anonymous
Definitions
Market Correction
… on
hollowed
ground
Anonymous
Malaprops
Hallowed
Cigarette: A bit of tobacco with a fire at one end and a fool at the other.
Anonymous
Definitions
Cigarette
Smoking
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Anonymous
Definitions
Committee
“I need some suspenders for my pants,” Tom upheld.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.
Anonymous
Definitions
Consciousness
Tolerance: Another word for indifference.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Tolerance
CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
CPR
“I have to wear this cast for another six weeks,” said Tom disjointedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Yacht: A floating debt.
Anonymous
Definitions
Boat
Yacht
“I ain’t afraid of those white men,” said Cochise bravely.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
She’s a tall drink of water.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Expressions
Tall
Thin
“I’ve mailed the letter,” Tom assented.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Absentee: A missing golfing peg.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Absentee
As the smoke clears at the devastated detention centre, an investigation reveals how officials ignored the warnings that they were sitting on a powder keg.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“How long will I have to wait for a table?” asked Tom without reservation.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 157 of 161
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