Author: Anonymous Page 157

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Run it up the flag pole and see what sticks.

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Due process of elimination

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

… on hollowed ground

Cigarette: A bit of tobacco with a fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

“I need some suspenders for my pants,” Tom upheld.

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

“I have to wear this cast for another six weeks,” said Tom disjointedly.

Yacht: A floating debt.

“I ain’t afraid of those white men,” said Cochise bravely.

“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.

She’s a tall drink of water.

“I’ve mailed the letter,” Tom assented.

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

As the smoke clears at the devastated detention centre, an investigation reveals how officials ignored the warnings that they were sitting on a powder keg.

“How long will I have to wait for a table?” asked Tom without reservation.