Author: Anonymous Page 158

Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

We'll rewind the calendar.

Niagara Falls: The bride’s second great disappointment.

Better not open that Panacea's box.

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Life: A continuous series of disasters which result in one’s death.

Birthday: Anniversary of one’s birth, observed only by men and children.

Let's bury this dead horse.

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

A stitch in time saves a poke in the eye with a wet fish.

She don’t have the sense God gave a gopher.

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

It’s all water under the hatchet.

Foreword: An author’s apology.

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

It ain't rocket surgery.