Author: Anonymous Page 2

That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.

Mixed metaphors

He looked very thin and emancipated.

Appearance Body Malaprops

“I feel a draft,” Tom said coolly.

Tom Swifties

Regret: Insight that comes a day too late.

Definitions

Alcohol is ok in modification.

Alcohol Food/Drink Malaprops

Neighbors: People who live near you, who are never around when you need to borrow power tools or jumper cables, but who are everywhere when you are having a heated argument with your spouse.

Definitions People

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Fools Intelligence

“I used to feed the lions at the zoo,” said Tom offhandedly.

Tom Swifties

You can’t change the spots on an old dog.

Mixed metaphors

[Marriage] is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Marriage

Hell hath no fury like a wet cat.

Mixed metaphors

The squeaky wheel wins.

Mixed metaphors

“I’m sure we can fool them into thinking this is pollen,” said Tom beguilingly.

Tom Swifties

“My giant sea creature died,” Tom wailed blubberingly.

Tom Swifties

He's a wolf in cheap clothing.

Malaprops

Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Marriage

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Definitions

Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”

Definitions

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

“Boy, I wish the elevator were working,” said Tom, staring up to the top.

Tom Swifties